Throughout my life, there have been many times I eliminated or tried to minimize my processed sugar intake and I've been mostly successful. I find that it makes my body feel better and my mind feel like I am doing something good. However, last fall was a different story.

In late 2012, my dad died unexpectedly and I was deep in grief in a way I never imagined I could be. It seemed to me like an adult shouldn't be so devastated by her dad dying, even if he was young and it was unexpected (though not from unnatural causes). I hardly felt like eating. All I wanted to do was sleep and cry. It's weird that I am willing to admit this because I always try to hide my crying from people and act as if I am fine. I guess admitting it is different than actually breaking down in front of someone. After the initial shock wore off, the whole thing really debilitated me. If I ate something - anything, I considered that a success. And I felt strangely drawn back to my sometimes friend, sometimes foe - sugar. I was craving sugar all the time. I tell people that I was on a vegan ice cream and french fries diet for a while.

So, it's been a few months now. . . They say that grief gets better in time and I honestly did not see how that was possible a few months ago. I wanted to believe it, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can tell you that it HAS gotten better. It is still difficult. I still cry almost every day. I still miss my dad. I still think of him all the time. I still think of how things could have been different. But things are getting better. I am awake for more than 8 hours a day! Yay! Little by little, I am starting to enjoy things again. I see a little glimmer of hope on the horizon.

But the nasty sugar addiction I picked up along the way is still hanging on. And I can remember how good it feels to be free from that addiction! I'm not eliminating sugar right now, but I am trying to reduce my dependence on it. As I found myself jonesing for cookies the other day (after indulging myself several days in a row), I decided it was time to try out a healthy alternative. So, working with what I had in the house, I came up with something that combined the sweetness (fruit) I was looking for with a rich taste (from the avocado & coconut milk). Now I know it's not hot out of the oven, but it did help me boost my willpower and I was able to skip the cookies that night!


Ingredients:
1 cup frozen blueberries
1 ripe banana
1/2 large avocado or 1 small avocado
3/4 cup coconut, almond or other non-dairy milk
1/2 cup tart cherry juice - actual juice, not the concentrated kind (or any juice you like)

Method:
Put it all together and blend, adding more juice or non-dairy milk if required for your blender. Enjoy!